Learning to Live with Myself

Over the past year I have done an immense amount of growing mentally. Especially when it concerns living with the person that I am characteristically and physically. I am a human with flaws. However, I had spent years maximizing these flaws, believing that I needed to be the perfect person. The perfect friend, the perfect student, the perfect daughter, the perfect girlfriend.

One day, I decided that I would slowly work on myself (as I always have) but instead, I would not do it for others. Instead, I would do it for myself. Before, I had created a world wherein I convinced myself that the more people I pleased, the more my life had meaning. I got into a one year relationship starting at the summer of 2014, where I felt I had to please this person. I had to be perfect, all the time. Soon, he started to expect the same of me. No matter how small, I could do no wrong. One minuscule mistake was enough to lower me to feeling dumb, useless, a burden. Sooner or later, I was not “perfect” enough and it all started to become toxic to me and a bore for him. He started seeking other candidates, if you catch my drift. After that, something just clicked. I wanted to be enough for me. Whatever I did to change myself would be simply for growth. For the sake of not remaining in a life of stagnancy and sameness. Now, today, I feel so much better. I let myself be silly without judgment. I let myself make mistakes, knowing that they can be fixed. With the inner thought that chances come in abundance. That if I can work hard enough, I can attain whatever I put my mind to. ONLY, if I do it with a clear mind, a clear heart, and clear intentions.

Loving yourself increases your wealth. Wealth of your mind, wealth of your body, wealth of your spirit, wealth of the heart. Beauty tends to radiate from within. When you put your heart and soul into the things that matter exclusively to YOU, then you attract people with similar mindsets. No one, not the media, not your dearest friends, not your partner, not even your family, can teach you how to love yourself. That’s something you have to find out on your own but when you do, it’s beautiful and it’s worth it.

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